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usxuk2011-07-05 10:46 pm
[Summer Camp] Day 5~The Shot that was Seen Around the World
Title: The Shot that was Seen Around the World
Day 5: Military
Genre: Humor
Pairing: UKUS
Characters: America, England, Prussia, Canada, Confederacy, France, and random states.
Word Count: 1253
Summary: What could go wrong in a Civil War Re-enactment?
Author Note: Always wanted to do something for the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. Unbeta and slightly rush.
“Things we do for sex,” Prussia exclaimed as he looked out to the field.
England and France snapped their heads toward the albino. “Don’t you mean things we do for love?” England asked, slightly confused by the comment.
Prussia shook his head. “Things we do for love are things that we end up enjoying secretly,” he explained. “The awesome me, it’s Jimmie Johnson. You, eyebrows, it’s that instant coffee that everyone knows that you drink.” He ignored the irritated huff from the Englishman. “And for Frenchie, it’s the maple syrup.” Before France had a chance to speak, Prussia pointed out to the field. “That, gentlemen, is what we do for sex.”
England glanced out to the field and cringed. There where men dressed in blues and grays standing around talking to each other and drinking out of tin cups. He noticed Alabama and Georgia handing out rifles to a group of men; Texas was giving orders to a group of caterers while flirting with the southern belle Virginia, and the Michigan twins were running off to the cannons holding something that could be gun powder. The older nation closed his eyes and sighed. He hated re-enactments with a passion.
The albino freak was right, things they do for sex.
America saw the trio and gave a wave. “Hey guys!” America greeted with his blinding smile. “I’m glad that you agreed to do this!” He tugged down his uniform. “I was worried that we won’t have enough people for the battle today.” He twisted his body in search for someone. “Hey Rob! Did you bring the costumes?”
A middle-age man dressed in grays came trotting up with Confederacy and Canada at his side. “Here they are Alfred,” he said in a slow drawl. “I’m sure glad that you guys could make it,” he continued. “Alfred, Jackson, and Matthew couldn’t stop talking about you guys!”
Prussia and France seemed to perk up to the news. “Really?”
Confederacy blushed at the comment. “Rob is lying.” He grabbed the large bag out of the man’s hands. “Thankfully the costumes are in
your size.” He rummaged through the bag. “Gilbert, you’re a Union man today.” Prussia cheered happily at the announcement. He took the costume and ran towards the cannons. “Stay away from the twins!”
“Don’t worry Jack,” Rob reassured. “Bob made sure to hide all the gun powder.” Someone yelled out his name. “I gotta go boys, see you on the battlefield.” The nations gave wave as the man trotted away.
Canada let out a huge sigh. “Don’t worry Gray, I’ll watch over the three stooges.”
“Right,” Confederacy muttered, looking completely uneasy. “France and England, you will be on my side.”
“What?” England sputtered as the costume was thrust into his arms. “I wanted to be on America’s side!”
“We thought it would be fun if our significant others fight on the opposite side,” Canada answered as he adjusted his Union cap. He visibly gulped when the older nation gave him a deadly glare. “I think the twins and Prussia are getting into the gun powder! See you later!”
Sensing the impending rage, Confederacy took a step back. “What Rob?” he called out. “Our Lee can’t find his glasses? Sorry gentlemen, duty calls.”
America snorted in amusement at his retreating brothers. “Wimps,” he chided. He gave a soft smile to the outraged nation. “Iggy,” he reasoned. “Does it matter which side?”
“We’ve always fought against each other,” England protested. “I’m tired of pointing my gun at you and losing everything I hold dear!”
The younger nation raised eyebrow. “Actually you’re on the winning side today. This re-enactment is a Confederate win.”
“I have the frog on my side,” England deadpanned. “Name me a war that he actually won.”
“Iggy,” America smiled. “Babe. Love. Darling.” His smile went even bigger when he saw the older nation blush. “It’s a re-enactment. What could go possibly go wrong in a re-enactment?”
Six hours later….
“I can’t believe you shot me!”
“Dude that was soooo awesome! You took a bullet in the ass!”
“I didn’t know the rifle was loaded!”
“Who gave you the rifle, eh?”
“I believe Confederacy did mon ami.”
“Seriously, Confederacy, seriously? After 150 years and you’re still holding a grudge? Why don’t you bend over and I’ll let the twins fire a cannon up your ass!”
“Dude, I happen to like that ass!”
“And I happen to like that ass….what the hell are we talking about?! Get out! All of you get out! I’ll call everyone tomorrow!”
England gave a triumphant laugh when he slammed the door on France’s face. The joyful look on his face quickly disappeared when he turned his attention to the wounded Union soldier lying on the couch with his boxer brief bottom in the air. “America?” he asked gently, wringing his hands together. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I have a lead pellet in my ass,” America grumbled as he tried to find a comfy spot on the couch. “I want alcohol.”
“I would love to give you a shot of something,” England said and then immediately winced at the choice of words. “You can’t have alcohol,” he reminded.
“What about those painkillers that the doctor gave me?”
“You had three before you got into the car.”
America gave a sad sigh. “At least I didn’t make it onto YouTube.”
England thought it was a good idea not to answer that.
“Man this sucks!”
“Why?”
America twisted his head around so he could look at the older nation. “I wanted you to have fun today.”
England moved next to the younger nation. “I did have fun. Until I shot you.” There was as an awkward pause. “Your General Lee was convincing.”
“Yeah, Sam’s the best,” America muttered with a fond smile. “Jimmy plays a really good Grant.”
“I don’t understand though,” England said thoughtfully. “Why re-enact something that was so painful? You and Confederacy had so much hatred to each other in the past.”
“You hated me.”
“I disliked you,” England corrected and sat down on the couch. He gently rested America’s head on his lap. “I was going to teach you a lesson that no colony of mine was standing up against me. You and Confederacy were fighting until the last man was literally standing.”
“We’re better now,” America mumbled. “There are some bad days but we get along. At least Thanksgiving is fun.”
The last Thanksgiving replayed in England’s mind. Canada, America, and Confederacy got into fist fight while he, France and Prussia just drank. “Oodles of fun.”
America gave a laugh and nuzzled his head into England’s lap. “You know what?”
“What darling?”
“Yu luk smexy ‘ight nhow,” America slurred. “Wressed en grways und shite.” He snuggled deeper into the lap. “Wet’s truck!”
England gave a sigh of relief when the painkillers kicked in and America passed out in his lap. He was not in the mood for “trucking”. He managed to kick off his leather boots and leaned his head back. He will let America rest for an hour or so before waking the nation up for some food. He was almost in a relaxing sleep when his leg began to vibrate. Annoyed he pulled the phone out and read the message from Prussia.
Dude! Your ass shot went viral! Awesome!
Letting out a groan and turning off his phone. England leaned his head back again. He would tell America about the video tomorrow after he makes sure that all of the younger nation’s weapons were securely hidden.
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Thank you!
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Salute! Two badges for you, camper.